In the begining ...........

In the Divine Presence of my Guruji

His Holiness Pujya Swami Chidanand Saraswatiji Maharaj

John 8:2 - 8:11 (KJV Holy Bible)

Now early in the morning He came again into the temple, and all the people came to Him; and He sat down and taught them. Then the scribes and Pharisees brought to Him a woman caught in adultery. And when they had set her in the midst, they said to Him, "Teacher, this woman was caught in adultery, in the very act. Now Moses, in the law, commanded us that such should be stoned. But what do You say?" This they said, testing Him, that they might have something of which to accuse Him. But Jesus stooped down and wrote on the ground with His finger, as though He did not hear. So when they continued asking Him, He raised Himself up and said to them, "He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first." And again He stooped down and wrote on the ground. Then those who heard it, being convicted by their conscience, went out one by one, beginning with the oldest even to the last. And Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst. When Jesus had raised Himself up and saw no one but the woman, He said to her, "Woman, where are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?" She said, "No one, Lord." And Jesus said to her, "Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more."

It is ever so easy to condemn others for their 'crimes', forgetting that we ourselves are also equally guilty of 'crimes' every day. I have often played the role of the the scribes and Pharisees and also became the 'prostitute'. You can never truly appreciate the value of forgiveness and redemption, until you are in the 'gutter' of life, deprived of all honour and dignity, 'undeserving' and 'unforgivable', at the lowest ebb of your life, when the notion of 'death' would be a mercy, that you suddenly realise that during these troubled times, the Lord is carrying you because He still loves you. My Lord came in the form of His Holiness my Guruji, who is my Lord Krishna, my Lord Christ, my Lord Ram and my Lord Ganesha.

On the 7th May 2009, my Guruji visited London, as part of His pre-planned worldwide tour to be with His devotees. I have been unable to undertake my annual pilgrimage to Ganga Ma this year and this has caused me much distress. So it was with much anticipation that I looked forward to Guruji's visit and also some 'shame' that I was unable to celebrate Maha Shivratri this year on the Holy Banks of Ganga Ma. His first words when He beheld me was, "Where have you been, my dear?" I wished I could have had a private moment with Him, just to be close to my Guruji, away from all the crowd, just like a son spending some quality time with his Father. But it was not to be, given the large crowd present wanting also to be close to Guruji. My 'gift' to Him was, as usual returned as prasad to me, with a remark that "I do not wear such (luxurious) cloths". I wanted to ask, "Tell me Guruji, what gifts would You like, I will go and get it". But all He did was gaze into my eyes and held me tenderly by my cheeks, like a loving father would behold a prodigal son. I often forget that the prodigal son is the most precious gift that a father would ask for.

My Guruji has always said to me that, "The greatest gift that you could give is the gift of yourself", not some physical material object which would eventually decay return to the earth. This I believe is the dedication of my 'self' to the service of Almighty God, humanity and mankind, without expectation of any rewards. It is a duty and a calling, not the mere satisfaction of my conscience, for even that is a 'reward' for my conscience. In this present world and age, it can sometimes be difficult to dedicate selfless service, without being tempted to the material wealth and physical pleasures of life. This is especially so when a person's worth is measured by the successes in obtaining qualifications, accolades and material wealth. However, my Lord Christ has said, "What use is it to gain the world, and yet lose your soul".

I pray for the health and happiness of all my spiritual family at Parmarth Niketan. I pray to my Lord Ganesha, giving Him thanks for leading me to my Spiritual Father, my Guruji. I pray that He will bestow upon my Guruji a long life and success in all His undertaking. I pray to my Guruji that He forgives this prodigal son for all his sins and failures.

Aum Gam Ganapatayeh Namah

Two copper coins

Aum Gam Ganapatayeh Namah

Mark 12:41 - 12:44 (KJV Holy Bible)

Now Jesus sat opposite the treasury and saw how the people put money into the treasury. And many who were rich put in much. Then one poor widow came and threw in two mites (small copper coins), which make a quadrans. So He called His disciples to Himself and said to them,

"Assuredly, I say to you that this poor widow has put in more than all those who have given to the treasury; for they all put in out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty put in all that she had, her whole livelihood."

Now you must be wondering why I had chosen an event from the Holy Bible for this blog. It is because I had witnessed a very moving event in the presence of my Guruji, though at that point of time, the significance of the biblical event did not register in my mind. It was only afterwards, after I had much time to reflect on the event, that I realised that my Soul bore witness to the Divinity and Love that emanated from My Guruji.

It was my last day at the Ashram and as usual I would pay my last homage and respect to my Guruji, before leaving for the United Kingdom. I normally find these final personal moments with my Guruji very emotional, it is very difficult not to feel sad and I would be choking with tears in His Divine Presence. As usual, I would be seated before Him, receiving His Darshan. During this meeting, there were other devotees present, taking darshan of my Guruji. My Soul witnessed a disciple appear before my Guruji. This disciple had very little, in terms of gifts, to offer to Guruji. This disciple had gone through a difficult period in life and was ashamed that he came before his Guruji with empty hands. For those of you who may not fully appreciate the significance of this, it is considered "bad" behaviour that a disciple does not offer a gift to his Guruji. The gift need not be an expensive item, even a flower offered with devotion is a gift.

Guruji offered this disciple prasad (a piece of sweet) and this disciple had tears flowing down his eyes. What happened next was humanity meeting Divinity. This disciple had removed all the remaining items of value he had on himself, ie. his gold chain and his gold rings, gave thanks to God as these items were sacred (the items had been offered to Lord Shiva previously) and placed it in Guruji's hands. All he said was, "Dispose of these items and use the money gained from it to feed the orphans and the rishikumars". This disciple was giving all he had and there was total silence in the assembly. Tears flowed from my eyes and my Soul at that point of time, witnessed the Divinity and Love of my Guruji.

My Guruji accepted the offering from this disciple, blessed the offering and then offered them back to the disciple as prasad, saying "The orphans and the rishikumars will be fed". The disciple did not want to take this prasad, insisting that the offering should be sold and the proceeds used to benefit the orphanage and the rishikumars. My Soul witnessed the Divine Love between Guruji and the disciple. It was the Divine Father embracing the prodigal son. Eventually, after repeated request from my Guruji that the disciple accepts the offerings as His prasad, the disciple relented.

To me, that was "Idam Namam". It was only after leaving the presence of my Guruji, that my Soul spoke loudly to me, "What use is there in decorating and pampering a decaying body with gold and valuables, when the body must eventually return to the earth, upon the last breath. Is it not more fruitful to use our resources to assist and progress the betterment of mankind, especially the less fortunate." It does not matter if it is only two copper coins or a million copper coins, what really matters is that it comes from the heart with devotion.

Aum Gam Ganapatayeh Namah

The meaning of Idam Namam

Aum Gam Ganapatayeh Namah

On my most recent trip to India to celebrate the Maha Shivratri (The Night of Shiva), I had the opportunity to participate in the International Yoga Conference 2008, held at Parmarth Niketan. Needless to say, the Yoga Conference did not contribute much to my search, on which yoga discipline would be suitable for me. This may be in part due to the result of my original purpose and aim for being at Parmarth Niketan, namely to take darshan of my Guruji, His Holiness Pujya Swami Chidanand Saraswatiji Maharaj (pictured above in the middle) and to celebrate Maha Shivratri with Him. The Yoga Conference was a collateral event, which just happened to coincide with the Maha Shivratri celebration. Nonetheless, I did learn a few important lessons from the Yoga Conference.

A young rishikumar revealed what the term "Idam Namam" meant. This was after I had taken my ritualistic bath in Ganga Ma (Holy River Ganges) for the purpose of changing my sacred thread (yagno pavit). The most direct translation into the English language means "Not for myself, but for You". Such a short verse, but with monumental effect on my physical, emotional and divine being.

My Guruji teaches that "Idam Namam" is "Ishwara paridhana" - devotion or surrender to God. This is the final, ultimate commandment of leading a dharmic life. It doesn’t matter what name or what form of the Divine you worship. What matters is that you are surrendered fully to God. Only through living for Him and dedicating all of our actions to Him can we find peace, joy and meaning in life. There is a beautiful mantra in our scriptures which says,

"Kaayena vaachaa manasendriyairvaa; Buddhyaatmanaa vaa prakriteh svabhaavaat; Karomi yadyat sakalam parasmai; Naaraayanaayeti samarpayaami"

It means, "Oh Lord, whatever I have done, whatever actions I have performed - whether through speech, through thought, through my senses, through my mind, through my hands or through just the nature of my existence - I lay it all at Your Holy Feet. Every aspect of my life and existence are completely surrendered to you."

I have come to accept that nothing in this physical world is permanent. I cannot lay claim even to my own physical body, at the moment of death I must surrender it back to the earth from where it came from. My Divine Being (Soul) is not even my property, It has to return to Almighty God, as my last breath leaves my physical body.

So, what is the purpose of my being? As my Loving Guruji taught me, to serve mankind selflessly without expectation, just as He does. My Guruji puts into practice what He preaches and just being in His Divine Presence, moves me to tears each time. Each time I have a meal, I would remember to chant "Idam Namam", in remembrance that even the food does not belong to me, just as my physical body does not belong to me. I give thanks to God and My Guruji for the food, remembering that the food is there only for the purpose of nourishing and giving strength to my physical body, so that I can carry out my duties and responsibilities to mankind.

"Idam Namam" means that I have now decided to live a dharmic life, in service of mankind, without expectation. The past is gone and the future is still unknown. I only have the present and I will endeavour to reflect my Guruji in myself.

Aum Gam Ganapatayeh Namah